This past week Michael and I celebrated our 6-month anniversary! In honor of that I want to share some things I’ve been learning about marriage.
Something I learned very early on was to look at conflict as a gateway to growth. As a matter of fact, we now call issues "growth opportunities."
If we talk to any of our couple friends and ask what they are working through or struggling with, we realize how normal our relationship is! The devil wants us to isolate ourselves from other couples so that we think our “growth opportunities” are devastatingly abnormal. When in fact, conflict is VERY normal.
I challenged myself to intentionally ask some of my friends about their challenges so I have a healthy perspective on real life relationships.
The more I hear about other people’s issues the more I’m like, “okay I got this”. What my friend can put up with in her spouse is not something I can put up with and the things I put up with for M is not what they could deal with.
My mom always reminds me, “when you wish for their good, you’ll get their bad too”. Meaning, if I envied one part of a friend's relationship and wanted mine to be more like that then yes, I would gain the good parts I see. But I would also gain the things I’m not aware of and, frankly, the things I’m not strong enough to handle. It’s all about perspective.
I look at conflict more like a door of opportunity now. It’s something that's brought to light so we are able to process together and talk things through.
In the moment, it stinks!!! We for sure don’t have it all figured it out. But I’m learning to give myself extra grace and give Michael extra grace as well. We are growing therefore, we are thriving.